We are talking with Jimmie, a family member at Applewood Our House Assisted Living Memory Care about trust and acceptance in memory care. We hope that by sharing and connecting with these stories we can all learn, grow, and find support.
Knowledge in memory care about your loved one’s care needs and how they will progress can be a scary thing. Surrounding yourself with those that have been though something similar can be a great first step to looking into gaining some that knowledge. If you, or someone you know has a loved one that has Dementia we invite you to call us and start asking questions, start the process of getting your care team together.
Taylor
Hello everyone, and Happy December. It is December 2nd. It’s a beautiful day here in
Colorado. Welcome to another Caring Counts Live episode. If this is the first time you’re
watching one of these, our goal is to connect people in memory care because we
believe the more connections you have, the more support you can have. And we’re
super excited to dive into trust and acceptance today. Caring Counts is brought to you
by Applewood Our House.
Taylor
Today, we have Jimmy Dean, a family member at Applewood Our House. And we’re super
excited to jump in. Hi, Jimmy, we’re super excited to jump into trust and acceptance.
And we have kind of an overarching question. But before we get into any of that,
Jimmy, welcome. Thank you for being here. We appreciate it.
Jimmie
Glad to be here.
Taylor
Getting you to tell us a little bit about yourself and your mom.
Jimmie
Yes, I have been my mother’s main caregiver for about ten years. She is from Kansas but
moved out here several decades ago and has spent most of her life in Centennial,
Colorado. She had some TIA event around 2009, which quickly led to her having
aphasia, primary progressive aphasia, and it has marched along pretty steadily.
I would consider her to have more general dementia type symptoms from, you know,
other types of dementia at this point. She has been in memory care for five years
approximately. She’s been with Applewood Our House for almost two years, I believe,
and very happy there. I love my mother very much and want the best for her but
realized early that a memory care facility is important in safety, care, and success. So
I’m very happy to have her Applewood Our House and glad to talk about my
experiences.
Taylor
We appreciate that. We appreciate how open and honest you are with trust and
acceptance because I think that’s a big part of all of this. The big kind of question that
we want to cover today, the kind of basis of questions is what is something that you
know now that you wished you knew before all of this happened?
Jimmie
I think it’s important to recognize that finding out as much information as possible right
away is exceedingly important because it helps you deal with what you’re actually in
the middle of a lot easier. I wish I had known more about her disease as she started
going through it. Because my reactions and help would have been different, I think I
would have probably not taken on some of the stress. It doesn’t make it easier. But it
certainly would have made it easier to conceptualize what was going on. And then my
reactions would have been better.
I just wish I had known more and had taken the time to know more immediately. But
you just don’t want to face it. And so you or you don’t recognize what’s happening. I
think if you have an inkling that something’s going on, you should probably start arming
yourself with information. Because it would make things a lot easier, you know, on what
was happening.
Another thing about that is if you rely on doctors or medical folks to tell you what’s
happening, you have to understand that they may not know what’s happening. They
may not realize what’s happening. I’m not saying they wouldn’t, but you may know
more than they would initially because you’re around your loved one more often, and it
can diagnose some a little quicker.
The Internet provides us with lots of information to figure that out. I was completely
blown away by the amount of information that was available for aphasia folks. And I
could not get a lot of it from the doctors because aphasia is not an affliction that is
highly discussed within neurology. So Do you have to kind of arm yourself with
knowledge? I think you can’t expect those in the medical world always to be the best
resource for you.
Taylor
Let’s dive into that for just a moment here, arming yourself with knowledge. And I think
a very natural reaction is, especially when something like this first happens when the
timing is right there, and it’s very fresh and new, a very natural reaction would be, I
don’t want to know what’s coming.
It’s scary to know what’s coming. I have felt those feelings around different things in my
life, not wanting to research, not wanting to know because it’s scary. How did you get
to a place where you could say, Okay, this will be more helpful, and it will be scary, but
it’s going to help me, in the long run, to know, to arm myself with this information?
Jimmie
Well, it’s easy. When your loved one is going through something to I don’t know, chalk it
up to old age, or forgetfulness or something like that. And I suppose, with dementia
and Alzheimer’s and other mental ailments, they come on slowly. You might overlook
them, you know, easily.
My mother had, I guess she had a stroke, I believe; it’s kind of hard to say. But had I
reacted quicker and known what was going on at that time, some of the things I could
have done would have been better. There’s a lot of news about people with aphasia
and dementia and how speech therapy right away can help prolong some things or give
some tools for helpfulness. But if you’re not like providing that immediately, a couple of
years later, it’s too late on some of those fronts.
You know, it’s, it’s difficult to provide stuff after the fact. Speech therapy is really
important for people with aphasia. Not everybody benefits from it. But in my situation,
it would have been very helpful right away. And I didn’t realize that we need to do that
partially because she wasn’t diagnosed for a couple of years with that, in terms of, you
know, the medical field, not diagnosing her.
Often, they just said she was having memory problems and giving her memory, drugs,
and things. That didn’t do anything for her. So had I reacted to aphasia at the time, I
could have provided, I think, better onboard care for her. It wasn’t until I attended an
Alzheimer’s Association thing, not unlike what we’re attending now, that I understood
kind of what I needed to be doing.
When I was already doing stuff, my mental capacity to understand what was going on
changed a lot when I heard other people talking about it. And giving information about
and realizing there were resources, like support groups and stuff out there, to give me
that information. If you don’t avail yourself of that stuff right away, you miss out on a
lot of opportunities to maybe create a better world for the long term.
And you’re going to go through processes, stages, where it changes. So yeah, I mean,
you can’t stop it. It does, you know, it marches along, but each stage can be dealt with,
with tools that you get yourself, you know. And if you arm yourself with something, and
it turns out later that that’s not what you needed. Maybe the affliction changes and you
get diagnosed with something else, at least, you know, narrowing it down is helpful,
you know, just figuring it out. I know so much about aphasia at this point that when I
have visits with people, I tend to know more than they do. You know, it doesn’t make
their knowledge not helpful. It just means that I’m better able to implement things that
people tell me. And I don’t have to wander around in the wilderness trying to figure out
what’s going on.
Taylor
You had talked about the meeting with the Alzheimer’s Association being kind of that
turning point for you to go out and arm yourself with this information, find the
information, and how does that. What was that like for you around trust and
acceptance from that Alzheimer’s Association meeting?
Jimmie
Well, I think there were some specific stories. This gentleman that was giving the talk
had an uncle that he ended up having to take care of, and the uncle was Japanese. He
had reverted to his original language while he was in the facility that he was in, but this
gentleman was taking care of his uncle before that.
He was telling some very interesting stories about his uncle getting very angry and
yelling all the time. And your immediate reaction to that is, oh, I’m going to yell back.
Because I don’t want to be talked to you this way. Or, why are you getting so upset?
Well, that’s not the appropriate reaction I learned. I mean, you have to be in the
moment with them. So reacting to them is not good, racking with them is better. So you
know, yelling along with them, getting excited along with them was something I
learned, you have to realize they’re in a state of agitation, and you, you can do better if
you’re kind of bare with them.
Also, he was telling a story about moving a piece of furniture in the hallway at night
that he thought was in the way of his uncle trying to get to the bathroom. Well, as soon
as he moved the piece of furniture, the uncle got lost, you know, because that was a
like centerpiece in the path to get to the bathroom, you know. Understanding these
little things is very helpful.
He also mentioned that when his uncle ended up being in a facility, his uncle would go
around and steal things from other people’s rooms. And obviously, that’s alarming. But
it’s not unheard of behavior and memory care or adult care facility. That happens quite
a bit. And, you know, he was very alarmed. Oh, no, what am I going to do about this,
and the staff just looked at him and said, It’s okay, you know, at night we collected, we
put it back, you know, you have to learn to trust those that know more about this than
you do.
And you can learn a lot about the disease. And that’s something you should take on,
but caregiving, that’s a whole nother beast, you know, you should learn to trust
caregivers, especially ones that seem to be experienced. And you can tell if somebody
has it together, and seems to have the knowledge base that you can trust it, some
people are short term, you know, that the caregiver, turnover can be high, especially
now. COVID has made things very stressful.
So I mean, there’s a lot of turnover and things like that, but you can trust certain folks,
you know, and they’ll kind of tell you, Hey, don’t worry about this, it’s okay. Let me
explain how it fits in with everybody, you know, so that you can say, Okay, I’m not the
only one seeing this; other families see this. And it helps you feel less stressed about it.
You know, that’s where support groups come in handy. I attended an aphasia support
group at Littleton Adventist Hospital for a while. And it was nothing more than people
just chatting, you know, but I got to see lots of other loved ones with their aphasia attic
loved one there, and it made you feel better. It just did. You went home, and you didn’t
feel so overwhelmed, because you said, I’m not alone.
Taylor
Other people are experiencing what I’m experiencing. And I’m not alone in that.
Jimmie
Yeah, I think that’s important for you not to be alone. And maybe you don’t have a
family to surround yourself with. A family can be great. But we all know, there are
situations where maybe family is not available, maybe you have no additional family.
Friends are great, support groups are great. People are great; anybody is great.
I found it common amongst people who get to be of an age where you have parents
who are getting older. If you mentioned to people at the grocery store, oh, I have a
loved one with dementia. You’d be surprised like how many people say, Oh, yes, I’ve
been through that. You know, it’s really common. It makes you feel better when people
say yes, I know what you’re experiencing.
Taylor
Yeah, I think that’s important. And that’s why we kind of started these Caring Counts
Live episodes is to connect people with other people that they can find that has been
through this or professionals that can help or things like that. And so with that being
said, with where you are with your mom, what would you tell someone that’s just
starting out that their loved one just got diagnosed, you know, a week ago.
Jimmie
This is a very difficult decision-making road. I think it’s just difficult because of some
factors that come into play. Resources are very important. Financial resources and
educational resources are both equally needed. But just because you don’t have access
to certain kinds of resources, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t opportunities for you
to engage in successful situations for your family.
There are plenty of resources the state offers. To help with this, you just have to ask.
There are lots of things that the state of Colorado provides for this kind of difficulty. If
you have the resources to access an adult type facility, private facility, that’s great. But
most people don’t start off there. Most people start off with dealing with mom or dad
or loved one at home, their spouse at home. Or next door, like you, visit or something
like that.
Providing them a caregiver throughout the day for a couple of hours a couple of times a
week can be helpful. Most of these hourly care staff have minimums of two or three
hours. And the prices range anywhere from like 15 to $25 an hour, depending on you
know, right now, depending on who you go with. But, you know, being a person with a
job trying to take care of a loved one, that’s hard. Sometimes a particularly loved one in
a family will have to step up. That usually happens.
It’s very common for one person to be ahead of the game, and that versus the rest of
the family. And it’s usually because of where you are in your life. I think the key here is,
don’t panic. Look for the resources, look for them ahead of time, realize that it may
come to needing to put your family member in a facility of some type, but you don’t
have to jump there immediately. But get all the resources for all the stages, learn what’s
happening, and provide that care.
I used to drive from my home to my mother’s home to see how she was doing every
day. Well, that was great, because it kept some distance between my mom and me, but
you know, I was doing that drive every day sometimes, is it better for them to move in
with you or you know, that kind of stuff, if you can’t have them move in with you,
because of children or circumstances, maybe having that person check in on them can
be what you need.
Just don’t be afraid of all this. Learn, get the resources, and implement them. And I
would again go back to get them ahead of time. Be aware of what’s available ahead of
time, not to have to go scrambling to find out when the worst happens. In my situation,
my mom was going to some adult daycare kind of situation, and all of a sudden, One
day, she just walked out the front door of one, you know, luckily, I wasn’t too far away.
So you know, we were able to deal with it. It was okay. I mean, you must realize that
things like that are going to happen, and you need to be prepared. When they’re going
to happen. Wandering is a huge one, you know, that kind of stuff. So I would just say
arm yourself beforehand.
Taylor
I’m a huge advocate for if you start looking into resources, and you come across a place
online, like Applewood Our House. If you come across our website or any other assisted
living memory care. Someone in this space, if you give them a call, most of the time, I
would say a lot of the time, they’re going to point you in the right direction for the care
that you are looking for, or at least get you connected to the right people that can help
you find the care that you need.
I think that’s a big thing, a practical step that you can start to take. And with that, the
thing you said around, just don’t be afraid of it. Don’t be afraid of it, and get the
information that you need. At the risk of sounding repetitive, how did you get to a place
where the emotions are running high? This is a stressful situation, as well. So how did
you get to a place where you can find that information that you were able to not only
find it but accept it and digest that information as helpful.
Jimmie
Well, as soon as a month after my mom’s TIA event, my mother knew she was losing
some faculties. I mean, within a month, she was aware of it. And I went through a very
long process of figuring this all out again. She wasn’t diagnosed for a couple of years.
Had I known that, I probably would have done some other things upfront. But the first
year or two, we did many neurology visits and things like that with doctors. And I think
you just got to jump in and realize that you got to use your knowledge base. Read a lot.
Make sure you know what the diagnosis is. I did not get the correct diagnosis from the
doctors upfront. That’s another thing you got to deal with is the current medical
situation you’re in the right one for your parent? Certain medical groups strive to be
great for care if you’re not sick. But if you happen to be somebody who’s quite ill, I
mean there are better services out there.
So make sure that the insurance medical group you’re with is going to support where
you’re going. And you want to get it checked out ahead of time. So you do not have to
make this change as a reaction. You want to make sure, okay, it looks like my parent
might have Alzheimer’s. Is this medical group the best for somebody with Alzheimer’s?
And you have to do some reviews, talk to them about it, see if they have support
groups, and ask questions. And if you’re finding it’s negative for you, then move them
to a different medical group. It’s just easier to do that. You need that medical piece
upfront, get that worked out, you know, with the insurance and everything.
You know, as she moved along, I tried a lot of different things. I did some speech
therapy. That’s difficult, especially if the medical group is not very supportive of that. So
that’s why I suggest looking for one that is supportive. We went to the University of
Colorado Boulder Speech and Language Center and did some stuff up there.
I hired somebody to help my mother do some speech when I had to work and things
like that. It was not a licensed speech person, but to help her do some of her
homework or something like that. I found it very helpful to do that. You need to address
what it is that’s going on and then go, okay, I need to go out and find all the pieces to
this, so that you’re aware of what’s happening. What I think your question leads to is,
the more you learn, the more it’s going to be easier for you to have conversations with
people about the affliction. So if you have to call the insurance, you know what you’re
doing when you call it. Learning about how the insurance deals with the affliction.
For example, neurology and memory is a different piece for most medical groups. It’s
not just a general doctor; it’s a specialty thing. So you got to figure that out, and it
works. Medications. Do medications come into play with somebody with these issues?
They certainly can work closely with your doctor, and you don’t want to medicate your
parent or your loved one because they’re having issues. But some medications can be
useful in helping their day to be more successful.
It’s not for me to say who should do that and who shouldn’t. But you should be armed
with the knowledge of that with your doctor and those around you. And then, getting
these specialty pieces in place helped me accept the changes that I saw. And I finally
decided to hit a memory care facility for my mother, knowing that it was safer for her, I
realized I could not provide her the safety that she needed. That on a 24-hour basis, I
did have to sleep. I just was not there anyway. Okay, do you do in-home care? Do you
do facilities?
We have to figure that out. Well, if you know as much as you can about this, when you
go to interview facilities and look at them, you’re better able to decide this is the right
fit. Many people with the beginning stages of these diseases will fit right into a pretty
facility. You know, it’ll be good for them because it’s like a retirement home almost.
They have fireplaces and bookcases, pretty fire pits, and parks. Okay, that’s great for
somebody that can appreciate that. But you know, my mother was not there. She was
already beyond a lot of that. What she needed was the care. For me, what I found was
best was talking to the staff at these facilities and finding out about them. And I knew
right away that the facilities that I liked were the ones that staff seemed to know what
they were doing. And the bookcases and fireplaces were irrelevant.
You constantly want to put your parent or somebody in a position to be around
something nice, and you want them to be happy. But that’s not where this goes. I
mean, you need to make sure that people taking care of your loved one can do it. That’s
where resources are important. So you just you got to arm yourself. And to get back to
your initial question about this, I just started calling everything. You do, and it stinks. It’s
horrible! It takes a long time. You are going to visit places and getting information. It
takes a long time, but you have to do it. There’s no choice other than that.
Taylor
Yeah, I like what you’re saying about getting to a place where you can educate yourself.
So you could you can empower yourself to ask the correct questions. To find the correct
fit for your loved one in a facility or a home, whatever that might look like. And I think
the point you made, I mean, what would you tell someone at that place, they’re making
these phone calls, calling the insurance, looking at facilities, and calling the doctor, and
going to speech therapy. You know, they’ve got all of this on their plate, plus all of the
things that they’re doing in their quote, unquote, normal life. Their work, their family,
and their kids. What would you tell someone that’s there?
Jimmie
Well, my personal experience may be different than others. Some people want mom,
dad, spouse, or a loved one to be right around the corner. This is because they can’t
drive 30 minutes to visit somebody. Maybe there’s a better facility further away, but
they don’t have the time to do that. Well, okay. So if that’s your need, you need to
make sure you focus on places that fit that need and don’t wander around.
The cost can be something, and these things are expensive, private care, expensive. If
you don’t have the money for private care, some places are public care. And, you know,
if that’s what you got to do, then do it. You just got to do it, stay on top of it, and make
sure that care is okay. Putting your loved one in a facility doesn’t mean your care stops.
You’re gonna have to make sure that they’re getting the care they need by
communicating. But you know, if you can do private care, well, if you could drive an
extra 30 minutes and save some money, you should probably because you’re looking at
your loved one’s overall budget for the long term.
You want to help them survive on their income for as long as they can. So sometimes,
an extra drive could save them some money, you know, things like that. A $7,000 facility
may look cool, but maybe the care stinks. You know, maybe they look nice, but they’re
just not helpful for your loved one. I discovered that my mother thrived better at a
facility like Applewood Our House because of the family, communities style atmosphere
that the smaller home provided. She thrived better in that because she got more social
attention, a larger facility. They do lots of activities, but they’re not always applicable to
everyone. You know, they do these memory games and stuff like that.
My mom has aphasia, and she can’t talk. So that was a useless activity for her. So, I was
like, what is she getting out of this, but she did thrive with music. She loved music, and
a lot of the facilities provide music, and that’s great. All facilities generally make music,
and the food, too. There are some with really highly sought after chefs and stuff like
that. Okay, that’s cool if your parents like that sort of thing. But my mother grew up on
a farm, and she would eat anything. So, obviously wanting to have good food, but not
be burdened with an extra amount of money just because the chef is highly sought
after, that kind of stuff.
But that’s my experience. I mean, it may be important to you to have those kinds of
things. So, I think you have to step back and say, what’s needed here? And that starts at
do we take care of mom at home? Do we hire somebody to help her? Okay, we’re going
to take care of mom for a little while until this gets worse, and then we’ll think about it.
So every step here, every stage you go through, you’ve got to treat it separately. Ask
yourself the questions. What do we want here? What would mom, dad, husband, or
wife want? And not overburden yourself with long term terror.
Learn, educate yourself, figure out what’s out there. But also, don’t freak out. I mean,
do it as it comes, and do it when you have time. Usually, this happens pretty suddenly, I
think, for a lot of people. So, you’ve got to jump on it kind of quick. Let’s say your
mom’s at home with you. Well, maybe you should start looking at long term care
facilities before she gets or he gets to that stage. Again, it’s all about your experience.
But my experience was the smaller place was better for my mom, but I didn’t know that
right away. You just got to ask, what do you think is the right fit for your parent?
Taylor
It brings us back to arming yourself with knowledge. The knowledge is the power there,
and I think the first step. Before I say my next point, I want to quickly touch on your
point of “don’t freak out,” which is, I think, a lot easier said than done. But if you have
people around you that have been through this before, like you said, the person at the
grocery store has the experience, oh, I’ve been through that. Suppose you surround
yourself with those types of people that know the questions to ask, or at least maybe
the first two questions to ask to get you started. In that case, I think you’re off on a
really solid footing, rather than when you were going through all of the things that are
needed, close to home, not close to home, budget, food, bookcases, and fireplaces, and
the care. What does mom want? That can get overwhelming. If you have someone or a
group of people, you can talk to about these things, and you can at least get started on
around what questions I even start with?
Jimmie
Well, and I think this is a consumer-driven thing here we’re talking about in a way.
We’re talking about the care of your loved one, and the mental and emotional process
of accepting it, and how you react to it. But then when you start looking at the need for
care and help, I mean, it’s, it’s, you got to pay for it, or, you know, insurance pays for it
or something. Treat it like looking at a fridge. I mean, he got to go out to Yelp, and
reviews and, you know, there’s, you can read quickly, hey, this place has got a lot of bad
reviews probably shouldn’t go there, you know. Or, read the reviews and go, what are
people complaining about? Okay, these seem kind of silly. Maybe this place is all right,
you know, or, hey, reviews are fantastic. This looks like a great place to go.
Another thing you should do just go. Go in, walk around and look around and see
what’s going on with facilities. It kind of helps you realize, okay, people know what
they’re doing. The support groups are great, too. People support groups will say, Oh,
yeah, you know, you should call this person or do this person, that kind of stuff. If you
start asking questions, you’ll find the information there.
Taylor
Yeah, I think one thing, I tend to like being able to go and look at what we always talk
about at Applewood, the different buildings have different personalities. And if you see
a bunch of them, if you see all five of our locations, you can see each one has its
personality, and you can find the right fit for you. With COVID, you know, I would so
encourage, and I’m such a big advocate, to make the first phone call too. If you’re
considering Applewood or any other facility you want to look into and get a feel for,
make a call. We are all doing our very best and working hard to get the right fit for you
and find that right fit. And with COVID, it’s become a lot more challenging. But we all
have to work together to find the right fit for you.
Jimmie
It’s important to recognize the difference between a standalone memory care facility.
And some of these other style facilities that have assisted living, or adult apartment-
style things with memory care as well in them. Those are great if you want to set your
loved one up for a transitionary kind of thing. They’re very cool with the way they work.
But if you’re trying to go straight into memory care into one of those facilities, a lot of
times, they have a waiting list that is reserved for the people that are already in assisted
living and things like that. So, you may think, oh, I’ll go out and find a space. No, it’s not
quite that easy. I mean, sometimes they don’t have room in places. You instead need to
make sure there’s space available for your loved one. Sometimes, the benefit of starting
a loved one on to an assisted living path provides that help of getting somewhere long
term. I went directly to memory care with my mother, but it depends on what your
needs are. But you got to be aware that there’s not always room available in every
place you want to go.
Taylor
Right, right. We could probably talk for another hour about all of these things. And
really, what we’re getting to is surrounding yourself with the knowledge and the people
to get you started asking the right questions. And like you said, once you ask that first
question, that’ll spur another question. And another one and another one.
Jimmie
Yeah. I think the most important thing I could probably get across to anybody is, this is a
path you can’t do by yourself, nor should you. And in most circumstances, the medical
people you surround yourself with and your loved one become family. Right now, with
the restrictions that are in place in Colorado, I’m not able to see my mother up close. I
can wave at her through a window, or they have, you know, some available protocols.
But I used to take her for a walk. I can’t do that.
So the people that she is surrounded with right now, that’s her family at this point. And
you got to look at the trust issue here. You got to say, do I trust these people to be
there for my loved one? And that’s a hard thing to deal with. That’s because you want
your loved one to be taken care of in a particular manner. You want them to do things,
and you can become like, helicopter parent loved one. I’m guilty of that. But you have
to recognize that they have had the experience you don’t have, and they know what to
do. You got to trust them; you just do. We all go through the helping mom or dad or
husband or wife doing some uncomfortable things. For the first time, you know what
these folks do daily, and they can help you get through that stuff. So…
Taylor
It’s a tough balance. I think you talked about being a helicopter loved one parent, right?
And but it’s, I think it’s a balance between the trust and trusting the people that you
put your mom with, and that they know what they’re doing. Also, being an advocate for
your mom or your loved one as well.
Jimmie
You have to know what your parent or loved one needs and have to be realistic about
what can be given?
Right now, I mean, this is a messed up time, and everybody’s stressed. So don’t make
your expectations crazy. Make them realistic. I had somebody within the Applewood
system once tell me recently: “You know, you may want XYZ, start with X.” Don’t get
your laundry list too big. You got to work within what is possible and trust the people
taking care of your loved one to do the right thing. I think trust is you’re handing your
loved one over to somebody else, and that’s hard. But trust, you’ll find that it’ll be okay.
Taylor
Right, right. And I think at Applewood, we always talk about, and I know many other
places do to, the care team. Right, the team at the house that’s caring for your loved
one. And I think it also includes the family member. The family member is included in
that care team. And we’re all working towards the same goal of providing the best care
we can for your loved one. And you’re providing the best care that you can because you
know their care needs. Then we’re all working together towards that common goal.
Jimmie
This is an observation I could share. I had my mother in daycare, which was a very nice
daycare. The people that ran it were very professional, super-nice, it was a nice place. It
didn’t quite fit her. It was pretty, you know, nice. Everything was gorgeous and cool, you
know. And then I got her to a place that was a little more low key, you know, a little
rougher around the edges. The difference was the people running it seemed to know a
little more about my mom’s needs and could keep her engaged with stuff, and she was
much happier. And you can tell their happiness by their reaction emotionally to this,
their anxiety, things like that.
Oh, you know, trust, you got to trust the people. And don’t always think because the
facility is gorgeous that it will be the best place. Again, I’m not disparaging any place.
They all try very hard to do the best they can and provide great care. But it would help
if you found out who’s good with you. And as you said that which care team works best
with your situation.
Taylor
Absolutely. I think that’s, that’s a perfect little nugget to end on, a little note to end on
there. And Jimmie, I want to say, thank you for sharing all about your mom, all about
your experiences, and I appreciate it.
Jimmie
Don’t panic. There are people who care out there, and you’re not the only person going
through this. Everybody can help. So I like Applewood Our House because of its
community feel. It’s good for my family. It’s great! So I would recommend people talk to
the folks at Applewood. It’s fantastic! But you know, if it’s not the right facility, then
look for others that fit your needs.
Taylor
Find the right fit now. Fantastic. Thank you so much, Jimmie! Before we end, I also
wanted to reach out. We talked a lot today about support groups and things like that.
Applewood Our House does offer a support group. It’s available. You can be anywhere
in the country right now because it’s on Zoom. You do not need to have your loved one
at Applewood. We want to help support you wherever you are. It’s called the Care Cafe.
You can always reach out to us on Facebook. You can send us a message on our
website. We want to connect you with the people that we can. If you are looking for a
support group, we’d love for you to consider a Care Cafe. We appreciate your time.
We’ll see you in two Wednesdays. Thank you again, Jimmie, for your time. We
appreciate it.
