Caring for abusive parents is a serious issue. It’s challenging to be the target of a parent during an abusive encounter. You go from being a parent of your own children, to having the responsibility of being a caregiver to your mother or father.
In addition to verbal abuse, it is not uncommon for a senior to begin physical abuse, as well. Once this happens, it is easy for some caregivers to forget that the person they are caring for is a loved one, and respond in an abusive manner.
Let’s face it. When our parents get older, it is only natural that we want to care of them. After all, our parents are the ones who cared for us when we were young.
However, the only way that you will be able to deal with explosive behavior and other changes is to adapt to the situation. Or, in more extreme situations, it might be time for assisted living care or other professional help.
Caring for Abusive Parents – Weighing the Situations
Here are some seven essential tips to help you deal with caring for abusive parents:
• Know the Causes – You need to know what is causing the abusive behavior. Are you or someone else in your home upsetting your parent in some way? Is your parent suffering from Alzheimer’s disease or another type of dementia? Maybe your loved one is no longer happy in your home, or theirs. Maybe they are missing their spouse or someone else? The only way to know what is in the mind of an abusive parent is to investigate, ask questions, and have them see their doctor.
• Stay Calm and Don’t Overreact – One of the worst things you can do is start overreacting to an abusive situation. Remember, there is something that is causing your mother or father to act this way. Try not to yell at them, and by no means should you return the abusive behavior.
• Seek Family Help – Ask your siblings and others in your family if they can help. Dealing with any senior parents should be the responsibility of every family member who is available. You should take turns sharing the responsibility.
• Have a Talk with Them – It is best to have a talk to your loved one when they are in a good mood. Just be honest with them, and let them know that they are occasionally not behaving well, and it is beginning to have an effect on your relationship. Confirm your love for them, but at the same time, you need to let them know what they are doing, and that it is not acceptable.
• Get Away from It All – There is going to come a time when you can’t take it anymore. It’s better if you take a break at least one day during the week. Use that time to try and relax and do something with your children or other family members. You could also use that time to be alone. Taking breaks away from an abusive parent can also be a way for them to appreciate you more. Your health is just as vital.
• Join a Support Group – You are not alone. There are others in the same city and state who are dealing with the same problems. The nice part about a support group is that you can find out how others are successfully dealing with a similar situation. Listen to others advice. You might also learn that there are other organizations out there than can assist you with volunteers to help care for your loved one.
• Get Help – If you cannot care for an abusive parent anymore, it’s time that you get some professional help. You are not Superman or Superwoman. You have a life of your own, and you’ve got to worry about your physical and mental health, too. Learn when it is time to turn the care giving over to someone else, or when it is time to have a professional senior caregiver help you out in your home.
Care giving for Abusive Parents – Conclusion
Probably one of the best ways of care giving for abusive parents is to tackle the situation immediately. Some caregivers wait until the situation has gotten out of control. Always get assistance when needed, and know when it is time to turn the responsibilities over to professionals.
